Interviews | Abdallah Abu Jaber

I no longer know where to begin or where it ends
days go by, interviews pile up, so does disappointments
But still, I try.

Every door I knocked became a mirror, showing me myself
I thought I’d finally understood
only to leave more lost

I painted their faces, those who shut doors
Eyes held silent verdicts, smiles wore masks
a reminder that I didn’t belong

With each painting,
I tucked my anger, patted my sadness on the back
rearranged the chaos within, not to look “weak”

Then came Wanees, curled around me
A cat! An animal is reminding me
I exist, even when they pretend I don’t

I watched them from a distance; they were worse
Then realized that safety isn’t a job title,
nor a nod of approval.

But even now, after all this, I still am trying.

- Abdallah Abu Jaber.